So lets get to the real meat of the situation. Turns out, Troy Ave's album name is only half true. He is very much without a deal, but is by no means major. In fact, his album sold less than 4,500 copies in the first week, and even more shockingly, he only managed to sell 30 hard copies of the album in general. How in the hell does a person only sell 30 albums?! Any person who has ever made an album or tape of any kind has at least managed to force their music on more than 30 friends or family members. That means Troy Ave not only has no fans, but he also has no friends, hindering his existence as a human nearly useless. That's right, all of you reading this right now matter far more than Troy Ave. No matter how you spin it, or what facts you reveal, these numbers are pathetic. The fact that Troy Ave and his apologists have tried to spin this into a success is even more embarrassing than the situation itself. No matter how much money he claims to have made, these numbers are downright pathetic. The only way to make this right is for Troy Ave to admit that his album really undersold, take it on the chin, and move on. Instead, he boasts making over 100k in one week. When you take into account all the features this album has, and that he has to pay his producers, I doubt he has even broken even. For a "major" artist, this is a career killer. Luckily for Troy, he didn't have much of a career to kill.
As far as the actual music goes, it is a lot less interesting than the antics going on the antics going on behind the scenes. Most of what Troy Ave does is both uninspired, and unoriginal. He is every bit as generic as most of the hip-hop that came from the era that he is admittedly trying to duplicate, only without the personality of someone like 50 Cent. The first track is actually one of the more entertaining, mostly because Cam'ron is always a welcome guest in my opinion, but Troy carries a bravado on this track that is rare in his music. He sounds confident and his rhymes, like always, are just average. The following track is essentially a less charming version of the first subtracting Cam'ron for Fat Joe and some pretty killer drums. This is another average track, that isn't offensive, but nothing I'd write home about. The next song is quite possibly the absolute worst song I've heard this year. I'm sure I've hated a song this much, but nothing immediately comes to mind. Young King as it is called features horrible off key, off beat singing, that features the delusional boasts of Troy. This is the sonic equivalent of watching a midseason Big Ten basketball game. Not only is it atrociously boring, but equally offensive in absolute lack of quality. If i was simply listening to this album for enjoyment, I would've stopped right here, but oh boy do I love talking about shitty music. Luckily this the zenith of Troy Ave's shittiness, so I won't have to make a sacrifice in the form of my ears. Generally I like to address an audience that I feel may like a track even if I don't, but if anyone actually likes this I'm sure no form of logic on this blog will appeal to you.
From this point on in the album there are few things I even care to talk about. One of the highlights, or lowlights rather was the single Doo Doo. This was probably the biggest single from the standard issue of the album, and when you google Troy Ave, it is the first song that comes up, so someone must like this song. This song does absolutely nothing for me personally, but if you like corny, more up beat, bubblegum, shallow melodies, then this is your song. This song sounds more like a joke to me than anything, but I can imagine it appealing to bigger fans of pop music. It contains even more of Troy's atrocious singing, which really turns me off immediately, and his mediocre verses don't manage to save the day. If you are wondering if you'll like this album, just listen to this song. If you like it, I guess this album might be for you. The reason I am spending so much time talking about this one track is that there really isn't shit else to talk about. Even worse than being plain bad, this album is so damn boring. Imagine the hip-hop equivalent of the band The 1975, and sprinkle a little more shit on it, and boom, you have achieved Troy Ave. The song with 50 Cent proved the opinion that the two have the exact same flow, and for any more in depth opinions, you should probably just listen to the album yourself, if you dare.
To end on a more positive note, it seems that Troy realized his album lacked any flare, or real quality at all, so he tacked on two bonus tracks that were both very old, but are probably his two best songs to date. The Your Style Remix is a great, fun track that exemplifies an old, fun New York feel. This song came out well over a year ago, but its presence on the album is more than welcome. The other is All About The Money with Jeezy, which isn't quite as good as Your Style, but still saves the album from being a complete unenjoyable shit storm. These bonus tracks really shouldn't count as part of the album, but I still feel a little bad for Troy, so I'll give him this one. This album is way too long, boring, and overall something I would never recommend. Not all of the rhymes are bad, they just lack a certain gusto that would make them interesting. If you like mid 2000s New York rap, give this album a shot, but don't expect anything special.
Rating: 2/5