Action Bronson has been on the cusp of being a good rapper for his entire career, always missing that little extra something that would make me care about him at all. Instead of trying to find this something, he has made a living and amassed a fan base by churning out fun singles and putting them onto underwhelming projects. I cannot imagine a more disappointing existence than being a huge Bronson fan. You can sit back and pretend to like his mix tapes all you want, but if you stop lying to yourself for five seconds you'll realize that all of his mix tapes might be able to produce one decent 12 song compilation album. It's almost as if he realized he wasn't that good, and instead of trying just a little harder, he opted to growing his hair out and dressing like a circus act. I can't fault him, because what he is doing is obviously working, but I can't help but think there is some potential here that will never be fulfilled because of a plain lack of desire to improve.
Despite only saying negative things up to this point, this album could have very well stood out from the pack. "Actin' Crazy" was released as a single, and was one of Bronson's more entertaining releases in his entire catalog, and "Baby Blue" with Chance the Rapper was a hilarious song that ,despite my general apathy for the artists involved, was one that I actually fucking loved. So at a point this was an album that I was anticipating very much. I figured that after all of his sub par projects that this would be a coming out party of sorts, and it would launch him into superstardom. After starting the album and hearing the first track I still had a lot of hope. "Brand New Car" starts the album, and while it was tainted by the utterly atrocious singing voice of Bronson, it was still fun and entertaining enough to keep me on the edge of my seat waiting to see if this was the one. The same holds true for the preceding four tracks on the album, one of which was "Actin Crazy." All fun entertaining songs, that are honestly the peak of what I think Bronson is capable of. Funny punch lines and a generally smooth flow are all I'm looking for from this guy. At this point I'm five tracks in and I'm ready to give good old Action a gold star and call it a day.... I had no idea.
It is almost as if he knew I was satisfied with his work, and then from that point on made it his goal to personally fuck me up with insufferable track after God-awful insufferable track. It all starts with the "Thug Love Story", which, despite only being a skit, may very well be the most agonizingly painful two minutes of my life. The singing on it is far past the point of So Bad That It's Endearing and borders more on the, "so bad it is suicide inducing" line. That proved to be just the beginning of the end though, as Bronson's "fuck you, Luke" fest continued in dramatic fashion as he insulted anyone who has ever liked him by feeding us pure bull shit in the form of City Boy Blues." What in the fuck was this garbage? Action can hardly carry a hook with his vocals, much less an entire song, but that's exactly what he tries to do. It's kind of like listening to a Black Keys song, if the Black Keys replaced their lead vocalist with a homeless man who smokes three packs a day and is also dying of three different forms of hepatitis. Maybe he likes singing, but it is only something he should do in the shower alone, when no one is within a three mile radius. The next track isn't good, but it's just a bad Action Bronson song, not comparable to the shit storm that had just hit us in the face. Following that was Baby Blue, which I still like a lot, but is a lot less fun after being dragged through the miles of hell that were the last few tracks. Then we get to Only in America. I'm not sure if it's the specific song, or just how worn down I am by this point in the album, but this is where i really give up. The altered vocals on the hook just feel like sand paper rubbing on your ear drums, and then the album closes in a nondescript fashion and Bronson gives us exactly what we all should have expected.
Rating: 2/5
Is that a little harsh... hell no. This album isn't good, and at this point Action Bronson is just about the most frustrating rapper in the world. There are redeeming moments of course, but by the time you reach the end of the album, you don't remember a time in which you ever enjoyed yourself. This album actually made me forget what it was like to be happy. I had to drown myself in the Kendrick Lamar album for a 36 hour period, or who knows if I would have made it out. Realistically, this is the last Bronson album I'm going to spend my time with barring some sort of ridiculous change I'm his career. I'm just tired of being tricked into thinking Bronson has found his own personal formula for success, only for it to turn out that beyond the singles, his albums have little to no substance. A couple of goofy punchlines can't make up for a run of multiple tracks that were simply atrocious in every aspect. Is there any way Bronson could make a good album? Well, maybe, but I really don't see it happening given his current career trend, but you never say never I suppose. To all of his fans I sincerely apologize for what this man has put you through, and I will gladly recommend almost any rapper as a better listen.